What I want to say

Well, tonight is a bittersweet night. Phil is in New York to work for 4 weeks. (He's a camera operator for television.) While I'm glad he's going to work with a group that he really likes, in a city he loves, it still would be nice to have him home to talk too. He's my best friend and the best guy ever! So until then, it's just me, the cat, the turtle and the fish.I talk to them eveyday and frankly,sometimes I feel like our one sided conversations are the most intellectual conversations I have had in a weeks. LuLu (the cat) snuggles nicely.She's a good gal, but I feel like she just uses me to get fed. Anyhoo, it's just the 4 of us.

We still don't have our date for travel yet. That bothers me not only because I don't have a date,but I don't know what else is going on there. Has he gained weight? How many inches has he grown? Is he lactose intolerant? And I want to get things packed, and ready. I think of Miles all the time. And there is nothing I can do. I'm starting to get a little moody about this.

So I was thinking, if I was to talk to Miles over the phone, what would I say. Really, what kind of conversations would you have with a son in another country, on another continent that you haven't met? So if anyone is going to Ethiopia soon, could you hand him this note?

"Hi honey, it's Mom. I'm sorry I'm not there yet, and I can't explain why I'm not able to hold you into my arms, but please forgive me for that. Just know that I'm holding you in my heart.

I know you don't know this yet, but your dad and I think of you 1000 times a day. I don't think it's fair that I can't come and take you away into our homes, but God has a perfect plan.We must trust in him every moment we breath.
Are you getting enough food? Are you sleeping enough? Are you getting enough kisses each day? Fair warning kiddo, when I get you, you will get enough kisses to last a life time. Plan on us counting your fingers and toes 1082 times and more.

Your father and I have many plans for you. We can't wait to take you to the beach, go hiking, dance with you in the living room and laughing till we cant catch our breaths.
I have cute outfits for your to wear. When your older, you may roll your eyes at the silly outfits I dressed you in. But I swear, they were fashionable and you looked like a stud! Just like your daddy! but when you have enough of letting me pick out your clothes and you want to dress yourself.......well, I'll still purchase some dorky out fits for you.
Are you staying warm? I hope your not to hot, if you get uncomfortable, just scream and cry. It's okay. I give you permission.
Did you get the blanket that I sent to you? When the blanket is on you, know that the blanket came with love. Many daydreams, hopes and love have been smooshed into that blanket. Don't ask me how,(mommies and daddies have a special tool that only parents have.)but it was hard, but it's filled with love, and excitement from the both of us.
I hope you got the photo album too. How do you like my new hair cut? It was too short at first, but it's growing out nicely. A few of the pictures are black and white. I read that you can't focus yet on all the colors, but can recognize the shades of grey. Anyway we are in color. Ask you mother at the orphanage to turn the page. The fuzzy grey and white stripe one is the cat. Not me...

I can't wait to get you my son. I know that it's a little scary there and your not sure what's going on, but your doing great. I'm really proud of you for being so brave. Soon, you will come to your new home, and I'm not sure it will be less scary when you get her. But we are going to do everything we can to make you feel at home.
It's 11:06 p.m. here. It's should be around 10:00a.m. there. I'm sure your up, wide awake, bight eyed and bushy tailed! I hope you have a wonderful day. I miss you so much. I'm sending you my love and kisses!

Mom